PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I can't turn off my feet"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
