Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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