so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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