how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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