smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I supernannyed him into submission
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize