You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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