Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
