I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
