Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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