1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
