you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
