His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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