Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
