Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
