Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
