FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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