Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
