covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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