but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize