Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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