But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
