I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
