East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
