I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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