I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
