Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize