After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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