Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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