did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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