oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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