she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
