I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I won't apologize to a one balled man
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize