1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
