i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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