I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
