my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
