What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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