If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
