i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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