we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
