brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
