Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
