Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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