so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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