He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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