Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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