Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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