Betty ford says i'm here all night
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
