Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
