writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
