is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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