Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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