the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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