I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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