I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
