So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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