i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
