We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize