no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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