I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
