She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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