shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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