But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
