around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
