I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
