You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
