I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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