I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
