Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize